Community Buzz: Shock, Anger over Rihanna's Decision

Hundreds of "Extra" Friends have left comments in our community following news that Rihanna and Chris Brown reconciled -- and most are angry about the example the pop singer is setting for women.

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"She has the ability to show all those other abused women out there that you CAN walk away. Very sad story," said Gina. But Friend Perla says, "I think everyone makes mistakes. If he is really sorry... then I think she did the right thing to forgive him."

Then there's Friend Susan, who says, "They are worried about their careers, so they are going to say they are back together so that people/potential employers could be forgiving and give them endorsements and contracts."

What's your take on this controversial story? Share your opinion and join the conversation now.

comments

chris,you fucked up big time for hitting a lady,but no matter what you would never see her cry.

kelvin
May 14, 2009

Police continue to investigate the case and no formal charges have yet been filed against Brown, who was booked on a felony criminal threat charge. Brown has no known criminal background, and though people close to the pair say they’ve had a tumultuous relationship at times, there had never been any indication of violence until now.

After the arrest, Brown and Rihanna spent time apart. Brown released a statement at the time, saying, “Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired” and noted that he was “seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones.”

According to experts, there was nothing surprising in the reunion between Brown and Rihanna, who after spending time in Miami both returned to Los Angeles on the same plane Monday morning.


Reconciliation Period
According to psychologist and author Lenore Walker, the average battered woman endures three to five violent incidents, from having her arm grabbed to an all-out beating, before she gives up on the relationship.

The reconciliation usually happens during what experts call the honeymoon phase in the cycle of violence, that cooling-down period after the attack when the abusive partner often expresses remorse and begs for forgiveness.

“The man is saying he’s sorry, he didn’t mean it, that it’ll never happen again,” says Walker. “It’s the loving behavior that reinforces a woman to stay, because they believe the violent act isn’t a true reflection of their man.”

If anything, the victim will often blame herself – and the attacker will agree with her. “The abuser also tries very hard to convince the victim that the attack was their fault,” says Dr. Elizabeth Miller, a Sacramento, Calif., pediatrician and domestic violence expert. “It’s common to say, ‘Honey, if you hadn’t upset me, this would’ve never happened.’

Anonymous
March 4, 2009

I think people should just stay out of other people business. If Rhianna want to get back with her man then she should.Again, don’t nobody know what really went on that night and if it really did happen like that then so what! That’s her choice not you alls. Everybody grown enough to make their own decisions.

Granyetta Etheridge
March 3, 2009

For those of you who think that they would walk away and Rhianna is saying that this type of action is okay IT TAKES 7-8 ATTEMPTS (which usually means severe beatings landing them in the hospital) FOR ABUSED INDIVIDUALS (including abused men) TO LEAVE THEIR ABUSER. Those of you who think that walking away from someone you love and not just thinking it’s a one time thing is an easy task have no idea what you are talking about and have obviously never been in the situation.

Anonymous
March 3, 2009

Rihanna, What are you doing? You are sending the message that “It is OK for your boyfriend to beat you up!” Rihanna is saying: “Guys out there, it is just fine to beat girls like me because we will forgive you anyway.”

You are WEAK, WEAK and WEAK!

deidra
March 3, 2009

it really doesnt matter what anyone has to say about this because rihanna didnt ask how anyone felt about her getting back with chris. this is her decision alone no one else’s. true, if another female was in this situation she would walk away (probably) but rihanna is her own person. if she chooses to stay then she chooses to say.

jenn
March 3, 2009

Rihanna has just demonstrated to millions of young girls that Chris Brown’s brutal, cowardly behavior is excusable. Congratulations, Rihanna. When those girls allow their boyfreinds to beat them and then go back for more, their blood will be on your conscience.

Pfffft
March 3, 2009

For those of you who don’t regard celebs as role models on how to live your daily lives - congratulations. However, millions of other Americans - both young and old - do. It may not be right or wrong, but it’s their prerogative.

Celebs may not agree with being universal role models, but that’s what they signed up for when they entered the industry. Thus, they need to guide their actions accordingly because everything they do has implications much greater than themselves.

Rihanna just sent the message to all her adoring fans that, “If your man is beating you up, give him another chance. Maybe you can work it out” - which is typically far from ever being the case.

Thank you, Rihanna, for giving battered women another reason to get beat up again. And Rihannna - this definitely wasn’t the first time he took a fist to you and it probably won’t be the last.

Anonymous
March 3, 2009

Honestly cut the crap…. if you want to get out of an abusive relationship you should not be looking up to an celebrity to figure out how and why you should do it, you need to do it for you. So why blame just Rihanna, there are plenty of women who have done it and dont speak out. While she may be the perfect position (the lime light)to be an advocate she apparently doesnt wanna do it.

JFIERCE87
March 3, 2009

Kick that trash to the curb! There are thousands of good guys waiting to be what you deserve.

Ben
March 3, 2009

Everyone is responsible for their own decisions. leave the couple alone and wish them well. God bless them both, all those who are sinless and has never made an mistakes in their lives Cast THE FIRST STONE.

hope
March 3, 2009

Basically Rihanna is like every other abused woman all them songs she sang about being an empowered woman ‘breakin dishes’ ‘Take a bow’ she didn’t mean any of it (jus a load of s#i*)there goes another role model for women LOST are there any left?!? Do she kno women look up 2 her N im pretty sure it includes domestically abused women also.. she had the platform to speak out against these horrible acts that are played out everyday.. but she endured it instead she has failed herself and the millions of women who were hopin 2 say if Rihanna did it I can do it to… You may seem like your on top of the world when at the end of the day ur just as screwed up as the next person

leslie
March 2, 2009

It doesn’t matter how much we try to warn these girls or try to talk sense into them, or even how many of them we wind up burying due to this problem..their abusers have control over them and are so convincing, a few “I’m sorry’s” and back they go. It is so tragic, he will hurt her again, and if its not her, it will be the next girl. We will read of this again….

Anonymous
March 2, 2009

I feel that he is so young and we are not giving him a chance. His 19 yrs old. Who doesn’t make horrible mistakes when your young. I know that physical abuse is bad and by personal experience who lived physical abuse for years is a good thing that he is getting professional help that’s going to help him be a better person. I would have change my mind if he was like 30 or 40 yrs old then I would tell send him to jail. But a 19 year who is just starting to live give him a chance with good help he would be a better person. We don’t know what happen that night. I believe that the media is making this a big deal.

Jane
March 2, 2009

Breaking news!!!

After the exposure of Rihanna gave Chris Brown herpes. the new subscribers on the largest STD dating site

==== STDslove.c o m =====
have increased by 25% everyday. Someone even told me that Rihanna has an account
on that site! Do you believe it?

stdsgirl
March 2, 2009

“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good.”

Anonymous
March 2, 2009

well i personally don’t think that it’s anyone business what rihanna&chris do with their lives they bare both grown people who already have parents if she wants to take him back so be it tha is her choice to make i’m pretty sure everyone walking this earth isn’t perfect so let it be let them live there lives and buzz off really people get a clue and a life keep ya head up rihanna and chris and god bless.

sheena williams
March 2, 2009

I think that Rihanna should have waited, just for a little while, because now he knows that if he strikes her again, he can say Baby I am sorry and she will come back to him and the next time if he does this again, she will hide it cause she dont want people to think that she was a fool for taking him back the first time and I do think that he is going to do it again, she better be sure that she knows what she is doing.

Janice
March 2, 2009

Next time she may not be so lucky. He may kill her. He needs anger managment classes. No man should ever put his hands on a woman unless it’s to caress her. (unless he’s defending hiself)

Annoymous
March 2, 2009

I am shocked because I was so surprised and proud of her for pressing charges right away. Rhinna is a young roll model for women. I think that by taking him back she not only hurt and set herself back but millions of abused girls in bad relationships.

Sandy
March 2, 2009
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