Good morning. Paradise is exactly like where you are right now… only much, much better.
I am from Uruguay and also am speaking English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “a melanin in children served that hair may have a human male on tzaraath neoplasia.”

THX ;), Mare.

How the Cycle of Abuse terrorizes, controls and breaks you…

The goal of an abuser is control. They want you to behave only in the ways in which they want you to behave. They achieve this control with abuse.

The cycle of abuse is a huge part of your answer to How did this happen to me? For years, you have very likely been feeling that you have been going around in circles… not getting anywhere. Your feelings are correct.

You have likely kept on trying and trying your best to resolve issues and doing everything in your power to try to stop your partner’s abusive behavior… and nothing has worked.

Nothing has worked because your partner doesn’t want to stop controlling you
and abuse is his method of doing it.
Look what has happened to you! Your “failure” to stop the abuse and “failure” to resolve issues, has very likely set up feelings of helplessness within you because you can’t seem to make anything better no matter how hard you try. As you keep trying, and failing, these feelings of helplessness grow. Your self-esteem is driven down and your sense of self-worth is shattered. You lose confidence in yourself and your abilities.

The abuse and your failed efforts to stop it, erode your self-confidence, devastate your self-esteem and destroy your sense of self-worth. You become fearful, insecure and dependent. Everything in your life eventually revolves around your abuser, their moods and their needs. You become a non-person, and as such, you are reduced to existing as your abuser’s “possession.”

You can’t change your partner no matter how hard you try. You can’t love him enough to make him stop abusing you. Only he can change himself or make the decision to stop being abusive.

The Cycle of Abuse keeps you fearful and off balance both emotionally and psychologically. Look at the diagram of the cycle shown below… you will most certainly recognize this vicious and devastating wheel spinning within your abusive relationship.

Phase 1 - Tension Building:

Tension increases, breakdown of communication, victim becomes fearful and feels the need to placate the abuser.

Phase 2 - Incident: Verbal, emotional, physical abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.

Phase 3 - Reconciliation:
the abuser apologizes, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse occurred, or says it wasn’t as bad as the victim claims.

Phase 4 - Calm:

Incident is “forgotten”, no abuse is taking place. The “Honeymoon” phase.

Understand how this cycle efficiently and completely destroys you:

The saddest thing of all: This insidious repetitious cycle will break you so smoothly, there’s an excellent chance you won’t even realize you’ve lost yourself. For some people it may take years… but it will break you.

Each time you take a spin on the Cycle of Abuse you lose a little piece of yourself. You never quite make it back up to your top again. Oh I know, you may think and believe you have… but you haven’t. Every cycle of abuse takes you lower and lower and lower until one day, there is nothing left of you. You just don’t recover. Look closely at yourself and your life… feel your feelings… listen to your own heart… reach into your spirit. I now ask you…

Are you really the same person you were before you began riding The Cycle of Abuse?

The heavy weight of abuse crushes you a little bit more each time you travel around the cycle. Down, down, down you go… until you are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually annihilated.

No matter what happened behing closed doors, U never put ur hands on anyone man or women are u kidding me i dont care what the problem is i taught my boys to walk away and keep ur hands to urself thats not what there used for as for my girls they keep there hands off guys to walk away i have pushed my husband to the breaking point and he would never put his hands on me mama taught him right!!! walk away what the hell is wrong with some men do u feel more manly for hitting a women oh hope not

people mind ur business! yea it happened to rihanna but the only reason you all care is because she’s a pop star and you all “loved” her since she started singing. Chris and Rihanna will fix this themselves. Like “female” said, you wont even pay mind to other women who get beat so mind your business about this one. she isn’t your family n neither is chris brown, yea you should care but damn at least if u see this happening outside of the “superstar world” speak up for the women who dont have a voice.

all of us should just mind our own business. look at all other women who have been beaten by their men, y dont we say anything den? y r we just concentrading on rihanna? i bet n e one, if u were on da street n u c a women getting hit, u wont go n try to help her. y? because u probably end up gettin beaten up too. all u can do is call da cops n walk away. y? cause dats none of ur business. y dont we do dat in dis situation. let it b. lets take da focus of rihanna for a bit n lets concentrate on all da nonfamous women. lets do somethin nation wide. “maury” is already doing it with his show.

dinkybobo….Boy you are dinky. I don’t understand why you keep making excuses for Chris Brown’s actions. He’s already apologized, shown remorse, pretty much admitted guilt for what he’s done. No amount of violence towards a loved one should be forgiven, whether it was provoked or not. He could have just walked away instead of beating her to a bloody pulp. Would YOU forgive your boyfriend for doing that to you? If you do, then live up to your name.

Whatever happened to “keep your hands to yourself” and “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”…its obvious from the comments made noone really understands what domestic violence is really about. Chris watched his mother being abused for years. Its no shock to me that he now has happy hands.He and she needed counseling long b4 this battery. Trust me Rihanna has tolerated the hitting b4.This time it got outta control. Chris doesn’t know how to pump his breaks when he’s faced with rage,its a power trip he’s on. At 1st it probably was cute to Rihanna that he would grab on her if he became jealous. She wasn’t thinking she was giving him the o.k. to b aggressive or to even be abusive. The pictures being released was a violation of her rights,but it will show the WORLD that DV is rea,l rich or poor. Maybe this will wake them2 up. If this was two kids on the block they would b 2gether again rite now. DV is a sick revolving door. I pray they both learn from this and get couneling.

Can you people learn to spell???? Or at least turn on spell checker… Reading your comments are excruciating. If Rihanna was your mother, sister, aunt or girlfriend and Chris was just some guy she was involved with and the same thing happened; would you feel the same way? Seriously! Just because Chris is cute and talented does not excuse his behavior. Suppose she had actually died from the attack, then what? Would you still think he should be given a break? Should his fame excuse him from the same crimes that ordinary Joe’s commit everyday? Will you rally behind the next man in the street who does the same thing? Get REAL? Let the courts decide his fate and you can save your ignorance for the next public outcry.

Obviously, Rihanna did things to make Chris Jealous. Like being very frisky,
with other male counterparts.

People, especially women who are sticking up for him are disgusting and make me want to vomit. Lot at the picture…he never once claimed she hit him and he has the proof. You always walk away! And he didn’t have to do that to her even if she hit him…you dont’ get bruises like that from shoving someone away