Britney's New Letter: 'I Truly Hit Rock Bottom'


Britney Spears has addressed her past few troubled months in a new letter posted on her website www.britneyspears.com. She discusses everything from rehab and divorce to her former manager Larry Rudolph in the tell all note to her fans.

Dear Fans,

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.

It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.

Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.

This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another person's intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.

I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "b****."

I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.

I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.

Love, Britney

Quote of the month...
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You're not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.

comments

bUSH STARTED THIS WAR CLAIMING sADAMTRIED TO “ILL HIS “DADDY, IMAGINE WHAT THIS WAR WHORE WILL DO IF SOMEONE BOTHERS “MOMMY? hASSELBACK WOULD FELL DIFFERENTLY IF “SOME OF “HER RELATIVES WERE ON THE FRONT LINES, bUSH IS THE WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION IN MY OPINION.

victoria Gotti SR.
May 30, 2007

I truly do feel for you Britney. Me being a 25 year old girl, I understand your pain. I relate to you on many different issues. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. You are going through alot. Im sure much more than people understand, all while being scrutinized in the public eye. People need to back up and let you live your own life! You are only human and I wish that the public would just back up and understand that. I hope that you find your happinness that you are searching for and I pray that the public will give you the space and support that you need to do that. All my best. My prayers are with you and your boys. D

DOMMERS
May 29, 2007

She isn’t saying she has ADD and using it as an excuse…she was liking her actions to someone that does. I myself have a “bad kid with ADD” and she is alwasy getting into trouble of some sort. JMO

Anonymous
May 29, 2007

How dare you blame your bad behavior on ADD. You are just using that as an excuse because you don’t have one! GROW UP AND BE A MOTHER TO THOSE 2 CHILDREN THAT YOU APPARENTLY DON’T DESERVE. A good mother would never use a disorder such as ADD to describe her behavior, she would step up to the plate and take responsiblity for her actions. I only hope that your children don’t develope ADD, beacause a child with ADD needs a stable mother and that you are NOT! You owe a lot of people (mainly children) a BIG apolpgy.

GROW UP!

Lisa (mother of an very loving, smart, well behaved, beautiful ADD child)

Lisa
May 29, 2007

Dear Britney Spears,

I found what you said about ADD to be very offensive. I have ADD and I don’t run around like a crazy maniac. I’m proud to have ADD, it makes me who I am. What you said made me mad and I deal with my problems better than you handle yours. I think you owe everyone with ADD an apology.

Katie, Age 11 (Former fan)
Plymouth, MA

Katie
May 29, 2007

Brittney, I just want you to know that I am praying for you and I hope that you really do find true happiness. I think people forget that you are human and that people need to stop idolizing you b/c you are not God, you are not perfect, nor am I. I would be depressed to if all my mistakes were broadcasted to the whole world. Just be true to yourself and remember that all this will pass away and that you can’t take your fame with you. So just enjoy your life and keep it simple as much as possible! I am a christian and I truly believe that there is a God(Jesus) and that if you seek him with your whole heart you will find him and you will have genuine peace and happiness. We are all searching for TRUTH and something that is real and solid and that is exactly what we will find in HIM-not in hollywood,people, or money. Hang in there!

scoot
May 29, 2007

Brittney, I just want you to know that I am praying for you and I hope that you really do find true happiness. I think people forget that you are human and that people need to stop idolizing you b/c you are not God, you are not perfect, nor am I. I would be depressed to if all my mistakes were broadcasted to the whole world. Just be true to yourself and remember that all this will pass away and that you can’t take your fame with you. So just enjoy your life and keep it simple as much as possible! I am a christian and I truly believe that there is a God(Jesus) and that if you seek him with your whole heart you will find him and you will have genuine peace and happiness. We are all searching for TRUTH and something that is real and solid and that is exactly what we will find in HIM-not in hollywood,people, or money. Hang in there!

scoot
May 29, 2007

i hope u read this britney and know that all ur true fans still adore u… everyone makes mistakes, and we get past them… one day you will too.. i am the same age and i know how it feels to feel overwhelmed and feel like you have no control of ur own life or destiny… but keep ur head up and move ahead with ur life… no matter what, ur true fans will stand by ur side… U ROCK!!!!

britney rocks
May 29, 2007

She is only 25, went through a rocky marraige that was very much in the public eye had two children and then went through a divorce, all in the mean time trying to get her career going again while every “wrong” move was blasted in the media. I think she just had a mental breakdown from the stress, she is only human and so what if she was out drinking! I think very few 25 year olds can say they have never been wasted and done something completely stupid (and I am sure more than once)…now imagine the whole world got to see it? And who are we to tell her to take back her manager? Did we work with him? Leave her alone let her make her decisions, if you dont like her fine! I think she is trying to move past the last few months but no one will let her forget her screw ups, Britney if you read this I wish you the best. I am your age and can’t imagine going through HALF of what you have. Keep your head up and focus on those boys of yours. Let people think and say what they want you can’t please everyone so just focus on yourself and finding peace.

KK
May 29, 2007

I have always loved Britney, and always will. I know how life can throw you curve balls. I hope she finds peace and her place in this world.

melissa belton
May 29, 2007

man this chick is wack! whats the deal? and why did u really shave ur head??

g-unit
May 29, 2007

She does sound like a lost soul . I hpe she is able to get through what ever she is going through, May God Bless Her.

Rachel
May 29, 2007

i think she is still lost and hopeless. she needs to grow up and take control of her own actions

Anonymous
May 29, 2007

She still sounds like a lost girl. She’s cut off her family and her manager and still won’t admit she has problems. She’s trying to be her own manager, stylist, make-up artist and doing a really bad job of it. I think her mini lipsyncing tour proved that. She needs to let her mother and family back in her life and let Larry manage her.

mickey
May 29, 2007

I THINK BRITNEY WENT THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES LIKE WE ALL DO.BUT HER LIFE IS ALWAYS IN THE PUBLIC EYE.I FEEL SORRY FOR HER THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF HER HUGE AND SCARY LIFE CHANGE THAT EVERYONE LEFT OR MADE FUN OF HER.I HOPE THAT SHE GOT THE CHANGE AND REALIZATION THAT BRITNEY DID.I WISH HER THE BEST OF LUCK AND WHEN ALL IN THE WORL SEEMS UNFAIR SHE SHOULD HOLD HER SONS AND NO THAT THY ARE ALL SHE NEEDS IN THIS WORLD.GOODLUCK BRITNEY!!!!

T.WILSON
May 29, 2007
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